Monday, April 16, 2012

Dark Souls Review.

We're all super interested in hearing a Dark Souls review right? Right. 
No matter how bad I want to put this game down because I'm losing I can't. 
can fucking invade your shit at pretty much any time, which can prove 

be a little annoying. BUT when you win you are rewarded generously. 
the makers for not creating a game that treats you like a retard.
You really have to apply some strategy in this game, the idea is to get to 
your enemy so that you can use their actions against them. OK now,
the weapon system. This shit is the bomb, this aint no Dragon Warrior. It 
. You will have to upgrade your weapons to survive, you cant just rape 
pillage, stealing better weapons from enemies, it doesn't work that way. 
in order to progress you have to locate upgrade materials. To 
do so you'll have to get past some unforgiving enemies. For example
I needed a certain ember (an ember allows you to upgrade a weapon using a specific element) in order to upgrade my weapon so that it could reach it's full potential. I found where the ember was kept and used my binoculars to take a peek. I know you're probably sat there shouting "WHAT POTATOUPMYBUM WHAT DID YOU SEE!?". The answer? 

I saw 8 Taurus Demons staring back at me. Now, if I had literally just started the game I probably would have done a little wee in my trousers. The Taurus Demon was one of the first bosses. So yeah, HERE'S FUCKING 8 OF THEM GOOD LUCK. It didn't look possible from where I was standing but as a rule of thumb for Dark Souls, if you can hit it, you can kill it. Cue the training Montage - "ITS THE EYE OF THE TIGER, ITS THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT...". I went off, upgraded my bow and arrows and shit and picked those mother fuckers off one by one. When I finally made it to the ember I was so happy I could of hugged a tramp. It's that feeling of accomplishment that separates this game from the others. Yeah you'll get thrown about like a rag-doll for a good hour or so but then you'll spot a weak point or find a new weapon or sorcery. If you're really having trouble you can summon players to help you out. This game makes you think. I often take my clothes off and have Guile's theme on loop in the background. That's just one strategy, now go and find yours.


  1. Well said P.U.M.B! Never heard of this game, must defeinately check it out! But what DVD wants to know is what console is it on?

  2. Dark Souls is available on the PS3 and the Xbox 360. I played the 360 version. I'm pretty sure they're identical, there could be some slight differences for on-line play though.